the perils of

My college batchmate just got engaged, the first among us Health Sci 2014 kids. It's pretty crazy. He isn't my close friend or anything, but I'm pretty amazed at how people are moving along with their lives. I'm very jealous of my friends who are already working and earning money for themselves, saving up for a solo trip to Vietnam. Wew. Meanwhile, here I am, stuck in my condo every weekend, reading trans after trans and feeling miserable for never knowing enough.  I knew before entering med school that this would happen, but I didn't think it would really affect me. I guess that when A got engaged today it really hit me that I could be doing a million other things in the world besides study, and yet I chose to study. Welp. I told Rap about how stagnant I've been feeling, and he replied, "It's okay, we have the rest of our lives to be old people."  Hmm. 

It's hard to believe that it's only been two weeks into the semester. They say that the second year of med school is the hardest, that if you conquer second year, you're basically set for the rest of your med school life. I don't know if that's true but it's only been two weeks and already I want to go on vacation, never mind that the previous one I took just ended a month ago (and lasted for a quarter of the year). What does second year Medicine have in store? Long exams consistently happen every Monday, the topics of which might as well be some foreign language. Microbiology, parasitology, mycology... I can't even finish the list in anticipation of the impending stress. In my desire to NOT fail, I spent most of last week preparing for battle. I told myself that every single night, for the rest of my YL6 life, I had to be doing something "productive," like reading a textbook or getting started on a trans. Each minute I spent not doing exactl