Food review: Chub's Diner, CDO

omething I often joke about is my ridiculously low standard for food, or my inability to distinguish a gourmet meal from five-peso siomai sa kilid kilid.

I remember when Rap and I ate some microwaveable pizza (that we had used as a prop in this video). Even after we had heated it up, it still had a stiff crust, tough meat-like particles, and bland cheese. Simply put, it tasted really cheap. But I still liked it, even though Rap said it tasted like Freon. I didn't understand what he was talking about, because I'd never tasted Freon in my life. The pizza tasted pretty good, like a less delicious version of the pizza I used to buy from across school when I was a kid. 

        I will never forget the look of horror on Rap's face as I reached for another slice. 

        But as messed up as you may now believe my taste buds to be, they're actually not that far gone. Believe it or not, I actually do have some standards for food, however low you may think they are. For example, I don't eat meat unless it's been stripped from the animal it was originally on, and cooked with fire. 

        Yeah, I'm kidding. This is all just an unnecessarily long introduction to my first attempt at a food review.  

         My dad and I are self-proclaimed burger "enthusiasts." When I told you that I had low standards for food, I was partly lying, because I can actually tell a great burger from a good one (or so I like to think). My dad and I like trying out burgers from different places in the city, looking for the perfect bite. So a few days ago, when my cousin posted a picture on Facebook of this giant, juicy-looking burger, I just had to find out where he had gotten it from.

        

        Chub's Diner is this small restaurant that recently opened across the Xavier University gym. (Irrelevant note: it uses the font Magneto in its logo, just like in the above graphic that I made.) When my family and I got there, the place was packed with people. We had to wait for a bit for some customers to leave so that we could sit down. I took it as a sign that I was in for some delicious burgers. 

        My brother Jiggy, being the lover of cheeseburgers and hater of vegetables that he is, ordered the Chub's Cheese Burger for P105. My dad got the same thing. My sister Cait and I decided to split a Double Shroom Bacon Burger, worth P175. (It felt weird saying that to the waitress. "Isa ka Double Shroom.") The staff asked us how we liked our patties cooked, and we told them well-done. We also ordered two servings of Cheesy Fries, which I think cost P80.

        It took around fifteen minutes for our burgers to arrive. When they finally came, we were shocked at how big they were. "Chub-sized," as one of the restaurant signs claim. 

Two Chub's Cheese Burgers and one Double Shroom Bacon Burger

        Sadly, they weren't nice and hot when they reached our table. They had gotten quite cold, for some reason (thanks for reminding me to write that, Cait). And as big as the patties were, Cait and I were a little disappointed when we saw that a chunk of ours had already fallen apart. 

The detached portion of our burger

        My burger was really hard to bite into. It was too tall to fit into my mouth, and, even worse, the patty wasn't cohesive. Cait and I had to help each other eat by holding back the bits of burger that were threatening to slip out whenever we took a bite. We had to eat our burger with forks! But even though our patty was falling apart, it was good. It was oozing with juices and was almost melt-in-your-mouth. The "shrooms" in our shroom burger were button mushrooms, and they nicely balanced out the flavor and texture of the patty. The caramelized onions also added a nice sweet flavor to the patties. There were also a couple of fries in our burger, but we had to pick them out and eat them with our fingers because, like I said, our burger was falling apart. 

        What I didn't like about it was that the bun was too light and dry. It tasted like cheap pan de sal. I would've wanted something heavier and sweeter. But probably the worst thing about the burger was the cheese, which didn't melt nicely into the sandwich. I don't know if it's a Chub's signature or what, but even in Jiggy and my dad's burgers, the cheese came in big, rectangular chunks, like this:

A block of unmelted cheese

        That is really weird. Burgers shouldn't do that! I would've wanted my cheese evenly melted all around. Instead, I got some cheese squares that were randomly arranged beneath the bun. What's worse is that the cheese was chewy and tasteless. I felt like I was munching on solidified milk (which may sound like a good thing, but if you're expecting some nice, flavorful cheddar inside your burger, it's not).  

        My whole experience in Chub's Diner would've been a whole lot better if they hadn't served us such strange cheese. And I'm not just talking about their burgers. Their Cheesy Fries are served with Cheez Whiz!

Cheez Whiz =/= cheese dip

       I like Cheez Whiz in my sandwiches, but I don't want it when I'm eating out at a restaurant. It's kind of disappointing that Chub's used this to go with their Cheesy Fries, because the fries are really delicious. They're baked just right and still taste like potatoes. They also still have the skin on, which I really like. I actually liked the fries more than my burger. 

        The Verdict: I asked my family how much they'd rate the place out of ten, and we mostly said 6. If they'd only fix their cheese problems, I'd most likely give them a higher score. The burgers aren't remarkable, but the patties are pretty good. The cheese is weird and blocky. The fries are delicious but are ruined by the Cheez Whiz. Fortunately they're delicious enough that my family and I would consider returning to this place. I recommend Chub's Diner if you're looking for a hearty meal and are on a budget. The price of their burgers isn't exactly student friendly, but it seems to be the kind of place you'd go to once in a while, when you've got the money. They also have a foot-high burger for P650. If you can finish it in fifteen minutes, it's yours for free! It sounds fun and all, but if you're looking for the perfect burger, I'd recommend you look someplace else. 

        . . .

        And that concludes my first food review! I really suck at describing tastes, but I have read worse reviews online. (Yes, this is how I console myself after I write lame blog posts - by telling myself there are worse writers out there.) And I do think I'll get better at food writing eventually, especially since I've been paying so much attention to food this sembreak (I've been doing a little cooking!). But more on that in another post. :) Enjoy the rest of your break!

        P.S. Thank you, Jessica Hische, for letting me use your wonderful dropcap!