Rejection sucks

Date: October 20, 2019 - a day after oath taking

Time: 12:09 AM

Mood: 2 out of 10 smiley faces

Today was a big day. 

In the morning we had our oath taking, which is a prerequisite to the practice of medicine (i.e. you're not allowed to practice medicine until you say your oaths). I'm still bitter about the fact that we had to pay 700 bucks to go to this thing, even though attendance is legally required to practice med. 

Oath taking happens in three batches, determined alphabetically. Fortunately for me, because my last name starts with a C, I was sorted into the first batch and the whole thing was done by 11 noon. 

Being a formal event, people really dressed up in suits and long gowns. For lack of any formalwear myself, I was fortunate enough to borrow my aunt's custom-made lacy pink dress. Unfortunately for me, I'm still packing some weight from the boards review and I could feel my tummy rolls always on the brink of ripping apart the dress fabric. Please cooperate today, tummy, was my silent prayer that morning.

The only picture I have of the aforementioned dress. It's compressing my whole being like a stocking. 

The ceremony itself was hum-drum. I spent most of it on my phone, trying to beat a dungeon in Zelda: The Minish Cap. I also browsed through the program, where I learned the interesting fact that for first-time boardtakers, the passing rate in the country is actually 91%! I would say that for future board takers, this is a fantastic statistic to keep in mind to help you through those dark review days. There is a 91% probability of you succeeding! The odds are definitely in your favor! 

After the meh event came the best part: getting to claim our PRC ID cards! All the sacrifice and pain we endured was for that little plastic card! 

I look like a Chinese baby in an adult costume

Lunch came after. I had an amazing buffet spread with Rap and his family at the Marriott Hotel in Pasay. I was really happy up until Rap asked, "So did you get any emails?"

"Nothing important since I last checked," I said. "Why? Did you send me something?"

"Check now. Maybe [company name redacted] emailed you."

I scrambled to my phone, opened the Gmail app. It was the usual marketing mail from Spotify and Medium, plus a receipt from Grab. Nothing of importance to me. 

My heart started racing. "It's been five days since my job interview," I started, feeling my stomach sink down to the floor. It didn't help that I had just stuffed myself silly with buffet fare. "They said they would get back to me within the week. Well, the week is over now..." I didn't want to finish my sentence. He shot me a knowing look and I sighed. I probably didn't get the job.

As if to add insult to injury, my dress gave up on me at the end of the lunch and tore right down the middle. 

I guess this blog post is really just my convoluted and unnecessary way of explaining why I'm feeling sad tonight: I wasn't accepted into the job I applied for. And it stings. 

It stings because I'd been really excited to work at [company name redacted]. I thought the job offer was perfect for me because it was a health communications position, a field I've always been interested in but only recently thought to pursue. So excited that when the job offer came up, I dropped everything to work on my application, which included doing some writing and graphic design. And after my job interview, I was even more excited to work there that I spent way too much time looking up nearby apartments I could rent, researching the different ways to commute there from Katipunan, even looking up the nearest gym to my office.

I know rejection is a part of life, but it still saddens me to think this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity has passed me by. 

Oh well, it's time to lick my wounds and rest. To stitch back together the split in my kawawang dress. Tomorrow is another day.