doubts

Earlier I was chatting with my friend Lorenzo (I mentioned him in an earlier post) about going to Manila, and it looks like I'm not the only one who's scared brainless about moving and studying there!

That's comforting.

No, that's not sarcasm! I mean I'm really, really glad that I'm not doing this alone. It's not just me and Larz here - there's Jason, and Paul, and all the wonderful new friends I made at the OrSem forums who, just like me, are apprehensive about moving there.

Who wouldn't freak about having to live in Manila? It is a HUGE city. It's so unlike Cagayan de Oro, where everything is basically within your reach.

In CDO, the malls take less than half a day to explore (granted you don't stop to look at much stuff). And in CDO, you don't have to wait for hours on end just to get from one place to another. Traffic isn't heavy. It isn't hard going places on a jeep, either. Everything is just so simple and wonderful and familiar.

I love Cagayan de Oro. My hometown. It's my favorite city in the whole wide world!

But Manila... Oh man. It's a jungle. It's a maze. I don't know where anything is, and I have no idea how to get to places, except maybe to my school, from my dorm (my solution: WALKING)!

And what about dorm life? Sharing a room with two other people I barely know - that doesn't sound so nice. And worse - sharing a bathroom with eight other girls! Oh mann.

. . .

I think sometimes about how much easier my life would be if I had chosen to stay here and study in Xavier University (AKA Ateneo de Cagayan), one of the best colleges in Cagayan de Oro and among the Top 20 in the Philippines. (shameless plug, anyone?)

Every morning, I'd walk to the highway (a short distance from my home) and take a jeep to school. It's just one ride.

Then I'd see my classmates and old friends around campus, and I might even be blockmates with some of them.

When school's over, I could hang with them at Dunkin Donuts or something.

And after that, I'd just take one jeep back home to my loving family and eat dinner with them.

And when it's time to sleep, I'd still be sharing a bed with my sister. And I'd still be able to say goodnight to my family and hug them and kiss them.

. . .

Staying home sounds so tempting.

But... This is the adventure of a lifetime. I have to do this.

No matter how scary and lonely it sounds right now, it's gonna be worth all the risks in the end, and I know the whole thing will make me a better and happier person. I have a strong feeling that in Manila, surrounded by amazing people and all, I'll be happier than I ever was in my whole entire life.

Even if that means dorming, and commuting, and starting from scratch in a new city.

Everyone's gotta push themselves beyond their comfort zones at some point in their lives. I guess my time has just come a bit earlier than the rest.

But that's okay.

And everything's going to be okay.